No regrets

Do you ever agree to something and then totally regret it when you can't wash the fake tan off for days afterwards? Ah, I do get myself into some situations. Being a top escort in London, there are many occasions where you get whisked off to Milan at a moment’s notice or sent to Harrods to buy something fabulous in little time but with significant money. However, there are also a lot of times when you meet exciting clients who floor entirely you with their requests. That's precisely what I experienced recently with James, and I have no regrets.

The calibre of men and, very occasionally, women who request the pleasure of my company are usually high. Sometimes, you have to dig deep to find fun when the places they take you are formal functions and seriously swanky establishments. James is no exception to the rule, and on the many dates we have enjoyed, he has always made sure I am accompanying him to the best new restaurant opening or to see a new build in Belgravia. Usually, it is something that he has heard about, and he wants to get his name on the list to be the first to buy to add to his many properties. While we have been out and shown our faces at glitzy events, James has also wanted me to himself. We have played doctors and nurses, maids and masters and more recently...Essex girl and daddy cool...

Enter fake tan, fake lashes, major bling, the infamous vajazzle and learn some terminology. Usually, it's not my thing, but this time, I had no regrets. I have never watched the TV show that made Essex one of the most talked about places in England, but I did my research. Amy Childs, eat your heart out with my six pairs of lashes and fake baked to perfection. The only problem is now I can't wash the stain off entirely, and I have a date coming up with Arthur to be his perfect English Rose.

So, maybe next time, I should take the chance of streaking with excitement because I don't think red, raw, scrubbed skin will go with my vintage dress from my fabulous Chelsea boutique. I don't think Arthur would appreciate 'Essex meets Surrey’, but it's something to consider as a happy medium for James.