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My extremely colourful C.V

I often wonder if I were to write a CV for myself now, what I could actually write on it. I have many talents that don't come with certificates. I can do a fabulous, relaxing massage, I have learned to be a personal shopper in some of London’s most fantastic shops, I have also picked up a lot of information when visiting Galleries and Museums to be a pretty darn convincing curator; but for me the best and most useful new skill is my near fluency in French, Spanish and Italian.

Now, these languages haven't been taught to me in a classroom, hence do not come with a piece of paper stating my grades or qualifications. These useful dialects have been picked up by spending many a weekend in Paris, Madrid or Rome, simply shopping or dining out and listening intently to my companions. Anton has taught me many a handy phrase while whisking me away from his Belgravia mansion to his Paris apartment and as interesting as his business meetings are, I learned pretty early on to latch onto his colleagues "girlfriends" and listen to their general musings about their partners, shoes and fashion do's and don'ts. Now I can most certainly hold my own in any designer couture store and I don't need any form of interpreter. 

Juan has definitely educated me in Spanish and Italian. He started off by teaching me the basics in the language of lust which we have tried and tested on many occasions in his Surrey mansion, on his private jet, in his Madrid penthouse. So, again I have listened, observed and practiced my romantic drawl whispering in Juan's ear and he has added some non-smutty words to my vocab to set me up for the big wide world.

So if this London escort was to write out a CV I would just have to write under personal statement "Fluent in French, Spanish and Italian, learned on my travels". Not a complete lie, but backpacking would have to be my story...and I'm sticking to it.

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